"the test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function" -- F Scott Fitzgerald
Personally I loathe people who use their phone speaker in a restaurant (or doctor's office, etc)
If you act like an inconsiderate asshole 50% of the time, then you’re an inconsiderate asshole, even if you follow basic social politeness the other 50% of the time. Seems like an overreaction to call holding the door open “very very nice.” Letting the door close in your face would have made him look obviously like an asshole in front of his friend.
If you find yourself getting annoyed by someone being actively engaged in a space, then maybe you have the problem, not them, and maybe you should chill out.
> The blog says they were talking louder than everyone else in the room.
That means very little. We have no indication whether they were truly being disruptive or whether this person was just being hypersensitive. The entire point of the post is recognizing that your personal feelings are not privileged truth. You know nothing outside of your own head.
I could be clearer. I’m saying that the fact that OP even noticed and was annoyed by it is evidence that facetime man is at fault, unless OP identifies as someone with a population-unusual hypersensitivity (eg autism, PTSD), which they didn’t.
That's not how fault works. At all. Ever. Noticing something and being annoyed is not evidence of anything other than your own emotions.
Here's a word substitution experiment to contemplate: Person A is angry because they noticed person B kissing person C openly in public. Which person is at fault? If you want, we can even say that the kiss was louder than anyone else's kiss, though what that means exactly in this scenario exists purely inside your head.
1) You seem to be unaware of the fact that many people in the world feel personally affronted by public displays of affection. I think it's weird to not be aware of that, but man I wish I lived in that world because it seems a lot nicer than mine. The point is that their affrontery is theirs to own, not the other person's.
2) Also, I literally said you can imagine the kissing making noise if you want.
3) Also, so what. Replace kissing with literally any verb you want. It doesn't change anything, because the kissing isn't the point; the relationship between experiences and emotions is.
Yes. Here's an example of one, please don't take it the wrong way...
You know how you just implicitly asked me to give you an example of one even though you asked me only a yes/no question? And you know how the most charitable interpretation of that request is that you actually want to better understand my position and not snidely imply that I don't have one? Well my answer to you is "Go fuck yourself. You aren't worth my time." (sorry, this is an example)
"the test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function" -- F Scott Fitzgerald
Personally I loathe people who use their phone speaker in a restaurant (or doctor's office, etc)
but I made my peace with it by adapting:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B008MCTOPU (3m ear classic 33 NRR earplugs)
The perpetrators never notice me putting in the earplugs, but others do and smile "I know, right?"
(although another adaptation might be putting on a disney princess song or maybe ukulele music. can you steer the sound?)
If you act like an inconsiderate asshole 50% of the time, then you’re an inconsiderate asshole, even if you follow basic social politeness the other 50% of the time. Seems like an overreaction to call holding the door open “very very nice.” Letting the door close in your face would have made him look obviously like an asshole in front of his friend.
Summary:
If you find yourself getting annoyed by someone being actively engaged in a space, then maybe you have the problem, not them, and maybe you should chill out.
The blog says they were talking louder than everyone else in the room. Inconsiderate people always think others should just chill out
> The blog says they were talking louder than everyone else in the room.
That means very little. We have no indication whether they were truly being disruptive or whether this person was just being hypersensitive. The entire point of the post is recognizing that your personal feelings are not privileged truth. You know nothing outside of your own head.
People should err on the side of minimizing disruption in quiet public spaces.
> People should err on the side of minimizing disruption in quiet public spaces.
I hope that if you read what I wrote again[0] you'll realize that's a non-sequitur.
[0] My mid-write edits might have clarified.
I could be clearer. I’m saying that the fact that OP even noticed and was annoyed by it is evidence that facetime man is at fault, unless OP identifies as someone with a population-unusual hypersensitivity (eg autism, PTSD), which they didn’t.
That's not how fault works. At all. Ever. Noticing something and being annoyed is not evidence of anything other than your own emotions.
Here's a word substitution experiment to contemplate: Person A is angry because they noticed person B kissing person C openly in public. Which person is at fault? If you want, we can even say that the kiss was louder than anyone else's kiss, though what that means exactly in this scenario exists purely inside your head.
Kissing != making noise. Maybe you need to consider paying more attention to how your actions affect others in public spaces
A few points:
1) You seem to be unaware of the fact that many people in the world feel personally affronted by public displays of affection. I think it's weird to not be aware of that, but man I wish I lived in that world because it seems a lot nicer than mine. The point is that their affrontery is theirs to own, not the other person's.
2) Also, I literally said you can imagine the kissing making noise if you want.
3) Also, so what. Replace kissing with literally any verb you want. It doesn't change anything, because the kissing isn't the point; the relationship between experiences and emotions is.
is there anything, in your view, which would make someones behavior objectively rude?
Yes. Here's an example of one, please don't take it the wrong way...
You know how you just implicitly asked me to give you an example of one even though you asked me only a yes/no question? And you know how the most charitable interpretation of that request is that you actually want to better understand my position and not snidely imply that I don't have one? Well my answer to you is "Go fuck yourself. You aren't worth my time." (sorry, this is an example)
Why is that rude? Youre just expressing yourself. Im responsible for my reaction. Right?
If you don't understand a difference between aggressively demeaning someone and existing in proximity, I don't know how to help you get there.
If you don’t understand the difference between existing in proximity and being disruptive then you are inconsiderate